st4gg3r-mc-j4gg3r:

catchymemes:

Spoiled little bean

(via crystalflygeo)

wito-chan-bla-bla:

After learning that Zhongli is a dragon, you decide to flirt with him the way representatives of his species do. Fortunately, you have found a book that will help you do it right! What could possibly go wrong?

~

Warnings: mentions of mating and similar things; no special description, but there may be something strange in the text

I think we need more works with the dragon habits of Zhongli

Please write someone NSFW continuation… Okay, I won’t even hope, let’s start.

~

Keep reading

paimonial-rage:

cocky bastard vibes - zhongli

ship: zhongli x reader

synopsis: in which reader shares their free thoughts on the liyue statue of seven

notes: standalone snippet part of the bookkeeping!verse

It was a beautiful day in Liyue. The grass was a luscious green and the birds were singing a beautiful song. After a nice stay at the Emerald Maple Inn, you and Mr. Zhongli decided to have a cup of tea next to the Statue of the Seven before heading on your way to Qingce Village. You were to accompany him to pick up supplies for the next funeral rite, and with the way the morning was going, you knew nothing would ruin this peaceful day.

“So how much do you want to bet that Rex Lapis was hot and knew it?”

You ignored the choked sound that came from your side as you gazed up at the picturesque statue. Though your companion would probably consider your question quite out of the blue, you couldn’t say it was the first time you wondered such a thing. Whenever you passed by one of them in Liyue, the thought always plagued your mind for a few hours after. Judging by Mr. Zhongli’s reaction, though, it seemed he did not share your sentiments.

”Ehem… That… certainly is an interesting thought. I can’t say whether or not previous records touched on such a topic.“

You hummed, gazing up at the statue. Really? That couldn’t be true. Why wouldn’t anyone talk about a statue looking like that?

“Well there are many reasons why I’d say I’m right. First off, his outfit. He has a hooded cloak on while also being shirtless. There’s absolutely no logical reason to dress like that unless they’re from the deserts of Sumeru, wouldn’t you say? It obviously was a conscious fashion decision. If you pair that with the seductive way he’s sitting, I’d be inclined to assume he’s quite clearly feeling his look.”

Silence came from your side. Hm, Mr. Zhongli still wasn’t convinced? Then you would go on.

“You do see it, right? His posture is relaxed, yet confident. Not to mention the way he’s looking at that cube in his hand with practically bedroom eyes. His knees are apart too. My friend from Sumeru told me that when a man sits like that, he’s displaying his dominance.”

Still silence.

"You can’t sit in a seductive pose like that without on some level being aware you look good doing it. I mean look at him! He’s shirtless and everything! I’ve heard even macho fishermen say that they pray to the statue for a good night before coming home to see their wives. You can’t blame them, right?”

A hesitant cough.

“I-I’m sure it was a younger time when those statues were sculpted.”

You groaned.

“Maybe, but you’re not even looking! If you did, you’d agree with me that Rex Lapis is clearly exuding such massive ‘cocky bastard’ vibes!” You countered.

For some reason, the more you spoke, the more flustered he became.

“C'mon, Mr. Zhongli! Why are you so embarrassed? It’s not like I’m slandering his good name! I mean, if Rex Lapis didn’t want us talking about him like this, maybe he shouldn’t have made a statue with abs clean enough to eat off of!”

Okay, maybe at this point, you were piling it on a bit thick. Could anyone blame you? His face was in his hand as if he had a headache, and were his ears tinged the slightest hint of red? It was an interesting sight. Never had you seen him look so completely flustered. Sure you were rather blunt, but you didn’t think your words were that provocative. Mr. Zhongli really was practically a 65 year old man.

“I thought you respected the Geo Archon…” He muttered weakly.

You gasped in offense.

“I do! I’d even consider my words the utmost of pious behavior. In Mondstadt, the sisters of the church consider themselves married to Barbatos, the Anemo Archon. So finding the Geo Archon to be a sex god is pretty much the same thing, right?”

“No, it is not.”

unique-opportunity:

The most electrifying move in wrestling

And a move from tekken

mae-avenue:

AAAAAAAAHH

I just had an idea for writing 😩

So it’s gonna be a series but like imagine the toman members, you , hina n Emma wit a lil spice like k*saki n hanma(idk I gotta get into the manga more for their personality’s) BUT Is like a reality show 😼⁉️

I should be asleep it 4 fucking am

nadaboodraws:

✨✨✨Giveaway Time for the Dabi fans! ✨✨✨
A celebration for this crispy guy’s birthday, 01/18! Only 2 random selected winners will receive 8 prints, and extras!
_______________________
How to enter:
✨Must be following me.
✨Like this post and repost!
✨Only 2 entries max.
——————————————————
The deadline is Jan 28, 2022. Good luck! 🍀👍

sasukesun:

NO FUCKING WAYYYYYYYYY

Originally posted by area51-narutorun

(via charliezone)

musicalhell:

tropesarenotbad:

danandphilnews:

[image description: a printed out flyer with the picture of a sleeping grey tabby cat on it. It has text on it that reads:

Muffin disclaimer

So you’ve ordered a muffin! We hope you’re up for a challenge.

Our wobbly tabby cat Bea REALLY likes muffins so there are a few things to be aware of if you have a muffin in the cat area.

- She WILL climb you to try and get your muffin
- She is not very good at climbing so she will claw her way up your body
- It WILL hurt
- She WILL NOT give up
- She may try to eat the muffin right out of your mouth
- She is not allowed to eat muffins

You may pick her up / move her away if needed and if you’re really struggling, come and talk to us and we will help. No matter how much she wants to, it is still very important that you don’t let her eat any muffin as it will make her sick.

Good luck and we hope you enjoy your muffin experience!

She may look sweet and innocent but we promise you she’s not

/end image description]

Bea the muffin thief has come upon my timeline again and I am obliged to reblog.

(via earthnevv)

borikenlove:

I don’t if anyone has shared this but I just found it on fb and it made me 🥺

REST IN PARADISE KING 👑

credit: IG:_courtney_luv

Originally posted by thethoughtsofanambivert

(via rivkann)